Right at this point of time, I am feeling really thankful towards what Allah has given me. Though it has been a rough ride throughout, but I can never deny that despite feeling depressed with all that has happened, there is still room for some appreciation & happiness. 

But with all that happiness, comes with a group of people I know I can count on. They would be my friends, family, cousins, uncles & aunties and as well my colleagues. Without them, I sure won't be able to make it these far. Everytime I feel down, I know its them I can confide. They were the ones who stood for me, and never did run away

Special thanks to my girls; Rina, Ira, Ina & Yvonne. This post is specially for you girls! From the bottom of my heart, love you girls! Together with my other girls & boys (you guys know who you are) I love you guys too.

The most difficult thing to ever handle would be the truth. Yes, the truth always hurts. Thats why people say in life, do not expect too much, cause it can either turn out to be a dream come true, or a nightmare. Cause when things don't turn out the way we want it to be, the one who falls the hardest would be ourselves. But then again, its how we tackle the situation. Cause the moment you choose to rise, thats the biggest courage, the biggest step one can ever make. Your actions shape your future. 

However, doesn't seem as easy as it sounds. This time I really lost the battle. Ive searched myself, searched everywhere, but the courage doesnt seem to come. I don't wanna be a coward, I don't wanna be labeled a loser. But if this is what that makes people happy, guess Im all willing to live up to dead. At least, seeing someone smile, will make me smile to. InsyaAllah

I miss the times when I was still young, when I was still innocent. When I didnt have to think about what was going on around me. I miss the times when all I wanted to do was to laugh and watch cartoons. Force Mum & Dad to bring me to the playground. When the only songs I heard to then was Twinkle Twinkle Little Stars. Where I dont have to make choices, except for choosing my favourite color. And the only things I would cry about was if I didnt ever get to go to the playground, or if I didnt get my favourite ice-cream, or if I didnt get my toy.

But whats life without challenges? Though sometimes I feel like runnig away, but till when? Why cant I never put my feelings aside, and think with the brains instead of using emotions? Guess that's just being human. And as much as you would hear this coming from many people, the truth hurts the most. Nothing beats that,

A Friend Indeed

Was all alone in the dark, when someone held my hands to walk through the night with me. Little did I realize, we had many things in common. He listened to my shit. He didnt just watch me cry, but he hugged me so tight. I feel like a princess everytime Im around him.

I wanted him to be mine forever, I wanted him by my side forever. I knew, deep down, his the one I wanna spend the rest of my life with. I saw he wanted whats best for me, but why couldnt I just do it?

This is Me

"sometimes it just takes one person to really change your life around"

I realized I've left this space outdated for a very long time. But whatever it is that is happening to me, let it be between just me & Allah, and maybe some of my friends. But as it is, I am still standing as happy as ever. People tell me not to lie to myself, but whatever. I know I am not. People always say people change, feelings change. Goes the same for me I guess.

But what made me realize after a 2 year relationship gone wrong, Im not gonna be a superhero and make big sacrifices for people. Instead, Im gonna do what it takes, so that at the end of the day, I can achieve my dreams and that it isnt just any fantasy. These past years have taught me a number of things about life. Too bad, I should have realized whatever was happening right from the beginning. But its never too late to realize it now.

This is who I wanna be. This is what I wanna have. This is me.

Lets just say, everything happends for a reason. And Ive decided to move on. Be it good or bad, Im prepared to face whats chosen for me.